Are Your Friends True? Or are they Korrupted?

Mariah Carey – Billboard Top 100 of 1994 – Anytime You Need A Friend

I have to admit, I’ve been a little bit evil lately to quite a few of my friends.  Some more than others, and to others, not at all.   Not evil as in the set your world on fire type of evil, but more along the lines of not caring as much as I used to.   Actually, in most cases, I never did “used” to care, I just listened and pretended to care.

I know that it’s a wrong way to think, but I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve put into my friendships and associations and what I’ve gotten out of them.  Now, I’m not saying that I’m looking to always get something out of a friendship though.  As a matter of fact, people in my inner cliche will tell you that I’m one of the most giving, most loyal individuals that you’ll ever know.  And therein, lies the problem.  Some people tend to take advantage of giving individuals.  Some don’t even know that they are doing it.

When you get to a certain point, it becomes apparent that the quality of your friends is much more important than the quantity.  And when you are a giving individual, it becomes much more clear after time that you really need to determine who’s truly there by your side, and who there just because they know you’ll always hook them up with whatever they are looking for.   Who’s there when you need them the most, who calls you when they haven’t heard from you in a while.  Who calls you up for dinner?  Who invites you over for some movies and dinner?  These are all factors that I’ve started taking into consideration.

I guess that it’s really about time that I started thinking more about myself and concentrating on the things that I want to get out of life, which includes my spirituality, and my future.   And to also say the things that need saying to the people around me.  Quite a few things that I’ve bitten my tongue on for the sake of peace, but in retrospect, I think that was a bad idea.  Besides, some people REALLY need to be told what’s on my mind.  It may offend them, but hey, that’s just how I feel.  Some have already caught the blunt end of the stick.

To my male associates:

• I really don’t care how many women you have in your harem.  You’re no longer a teenager, grow the hell up.  Stick with one woman, take care of your kids and be a man.
• It would be nice if you’re at one of my BBQ, to donate to the food cause.
• And while we’re on the subject of BBQ, don’t come by, eat food, and then immediately leave.  Don’t expect an invite back if you do. 
• I know I got quite the bachelor pad, with game systems, and plenty to do for those of the male persuasion, so it’s understandable that your kids want to come over.  But for god’s sake, man up and discipline your little crumbsnatchers and keep them under control or I will.
• Just because your wife pissed you off doesn’t mean that you should vent about your relationship over at my place.  Just come in, grab a beer, grab the Xbox controller and shut up about your marriage life.  Some of us are still single, and therefore don’t wish to hear about your relationship issues.  Rant to some other guy who is married.  Valid subjects are gaming, football, hot actresses/models, science fiction, and religion. If you feel you have to vent about a relationship, then we’ll head to a bar, but you can’t ruin the Zen of my bachelor pad.
• Don’t gripe to me about the dealings with your baby’s mama who you had sex with outside of marriage, no condom, and who you were playing on anyway.  You reap what you sow idiot.
• No I don’t want a roommate.  Yea it’s cheaper, but I only have a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment.  The odds of me accidentally seeing another man without his pants on increases exponentially in these situations.  We’re cool, but we’re not that cool. 

To my female associates:

• If you are a friend, you’re either REALLY tight, really cool, or I have or had a love interest in you in the past.  Know which one you are, and learn to take that into account.
• The really tight, and really cool groups are allowed to talk about their relationships and come to me for advice for dealing with men.  Past love interests do not have this privilege.  You’re still cool and we can still talk and hang out, but if you have the desire to talk about your date last night with man of your dreams, do me a favor and don’t.  It’s basically the equivalent of rubbing it in my face and that that point, in my mind, you become the biggest bitch on the planet.  Honestly, if you’re not hooked up with me, I really don’t care.  It’s cold, but that’s how I roll.
• The only exception to the above rule is if I’m already in a relationship and my current girlfriend is much better than you.
• If I call to check up on you and you are going through some man hating phase just say “Hey, thank you for checking up on me, but I just need some time to vent”.    Don’t go on some damn rant about how all of us men suck and we’re all no good.  This will get you banned from the circle.
• And while we’re on that subject, don’t try to sleep or hook up with two of my male friends at the same time.  And don’t expect sympathy from me when you get busted out. 
• Just because your girlfriend is single doesn’t mean that we’ll automatically be a good match.  Please stop trying to hook me up with your evil friend who hates anything with a penis.
• If you don’t have a love interest in me, please don’t prance in front of me in skimpy outfits, wear sexy clothing when we hang out, or kiss me anywhere but the cheek.  Hugs longer than 3 seconds are also prohibited. Mixed signals will get you banned.  I am not a test subject to determine how hot you are to the opposite sex.  Basically, no teasing me.

Besides whatever my rant implies, I have quite a few close friends in my inner circle that keep me going.  People who can call me up for anything and I’ll do it without regret.  This isn’t all of them, but some of the ones I think about the most.

1. My Siblings and their spouses
2. Cynthia - I can come to you with ANYTHING! You and your husband are the absolute bomb.
3. Pablo – I won’t forget about the time I got food poisoning. I woke up in the hospital and there you were.  Thanks for taking me man!
4. The Twins – you fools don’t show up half the time, but when it matters, you’re there.  The family life keeps you guys busy though, so I understand.
5. Karita – I think you’re the only one in the “Women I’ve had a crush on but never hooked up with” that I would bend the rules for.  Your insight, wisdom, advice,  and encouragement has helped keep me on track.  Whoever you end up with will be a lucky man. Anything you need, just ring.
6. Jonathan – We don’t talk too much, but you’re always there.  We need to hang out more often
7. Kelsey – Man, your 6th sense seems to go off whenever things aren’t right.  Don’t worry, I’ll be down soon enough to hang out with you and your wife.
8. Amos – Don’t worry man, I’ll come up to upstate New York to visit.  Hope things are going well in the chiropractic business.
9. Scott and his wife – Keep me spiritually strong
10. Denny – We need to get some bowling going on man.
11. Rachel – Haven’t forgotten about you girl.