Written by Found this link via digg.com during some downtime tonight. Talk about an interesting read. Here’s a tidbit from the article
1 out of 4 children involved in a divorce undergoes Parental Alienation Syndrome
According to Mª Rosario Cortés, “the so-called alienating parent is the one who has custody and uses it to brainwash the child, turning him or her against the alienated parent”. In most cases, the process is very subtle the custodial parent stating such things as “if I just told you some more things about your father/mother…”, or by making the child feel sorry for “abandoning” every time he or she visits the alienated parent. As pointed out by the group of researchers of the University of Granada, there are many other factors which influence PAS apart from the unacceptable attitude of the custodial parent, such as children’s psychological vulnerability, the character and behaviour of parents, dynamics among brothers, or the existing conflicts between the two divorced parents. Very often children not only reject their father, but also his family and close friends. Grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, and the new partner of the non-custodial parent are also affected by this syndrome, and children undergoing PAS can even “expel them from their life.”
Wow! I mean Wow!! I would consider this bad manipulation by a parent rather than some syndrome, but this really brought up some feelings when I read it. Especially about my dad and siblings. I remember on many occasions of my mother telling me all sorts of negative things about my father that made me put him in a negative light. It wasn’t until she tried the same thing with trying to manipulate me against my siblings that I really caught on to her game. And to tell you the truth, a lot of my anger and negative feelings towards her comes from her manipulation of me when I was younger. I came to resent her so much because of that once I was at a point where I was able to realize these things for myself.
I see this a lot even as an adult from certain peers and acquaintances of mine, and to be honest, it really sickens me how kids can be used as pawns to get back at someone because of one parent’s bitterness towards his or her former partner. Casting themselves in an angelic light while making their former partner out to be the devil himself. I won’t name any names, but those people know who they are. Here’s a tip, guide your kids on things that they should aware of, but as far as their father or mother, let them figure things out for themselves. Keep your own bitterness out of the equation.
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