I had gotten a cool idea from a friend and her husband when it comes to what we're expecting in the opposite sex.   I don't know about you guys, but I recently, I have been pretty frustrated with the whole being a bachelor lately.  Yea, you have plenty of free personal time and those of you in relationships may envy your freedom, but we all know that the grass on this side isn't as green as people think.  We just weren't meant to be alone as we go through life.

One of my problems was that I really didn't know what I wanted in the opposite sex.  As as matter of fact, a lot of people don't know.  I thought I did, but to tell you the truth, not enough thought had been put into it.  My wants weighed heavily on the physical side and not the mental.  Things like pretty eyes, long hair, nice butt, etc…  Some of you women are just as guilty with requirements of height, build, etc…

But have you really thought about what it takes to keep a relationship going after the physical wears off?  Over time, we get fatter, skinnier, older, etc.. and the mental attributes of our significant other become more important than ever.  A lot of times I really didn't consider this with the exceptions of the basics like not being a gold digger, stuck up, etc… It wasn't until I saw Anthony's list that it really clicked in my head that I really need to think about what I was looking for in a woman. 

What came to mind when I meditated on this surprised me.  Both in the things that I wanted and just how long my list had become.  Of course, I don't expect anyone to meet ALL of the requirements on my list, but it's a great thing to keep with you to remind you of what you like and dislike and it's also a great tool for communicating your desires in the opposite sex to a potential mate.   Yea, you'll have some out there who'll read your list and fake some of the qualities you're looking for, but it's still a great tool and may even ward off a few undesirables when they realize that they don't have what you're looking for.  It's a great screening tool and gets right down to the point.

Just for an example, I'll share a few interesting ones from my list.

• Intelligent
• Independent Thinker
• Frugal
• Loves to read
• Cares about others
• Nurturing
• Willing to grow
• Not afraid to ask intimate questions
• Tolerates geek or highly intellectual discussion
• Knows how to dress a man
• Loves to cuddle
• Patient
• Sophisticated
• Not afraid to get hands dirty
• Not afraid to discipline their kids
• Understands that men can be dumb and not get too upset when we do those stupid things.  (not asking for directions, not planning ahead for certain things for vacation, etc…)
• Spontaneous
• Competitive, but not to extremes

My list is MUCH longer than this.  I'm actually on the 3rd page of writing it at the moment, but it gives you a good idea as far what you really find important in a potential mate as well as your pet peeves.  I even listed qualities that I don't have because I realize that my lack of them is a weakness and therefore would love for someone who has those qualities to offset my lack of and vice versa.  It's really been fun to write and I really find it hard to stop.  I'm actually noticing things about myself that I never really put much thought to in the past as well.  It provides you with a good look in the mirror as well. 

So for those of you single people out there, who have a very "basic" list, I challenge you to grab a pen and paper, really think about what you want in a partner in the long run and get to writing.  You'll be surprised at what you come up with.

Normally, I don't listen to urban music on the radio because quite frankly, I think that the hip hop industry pumps out nothing but pure crap in a lot of cases.   So I typically prefer to listen to old skool and slow jams instead.  With a little bit of Jazz thrown in on the sides.  But lately, my radio at work has decided to hate on 107.3, so I just had to listen to KPRS for the moment.   And here's where my hating starts.

So R.Kelly's song comes on the radio.  I normally don't pay attention to his lyrics considering that he comes out with uninspired crap and somehow he still has fans out there sucking that crap up.  Not to mention that he's a damn pedophile.  For those thinking that I'm being a bit too harsh, just ask yourself this question.  Would you let your minor teenage daughter spend the night over at his place? Nope? I thought so. 

Okay, so on with my rant.  The song on question is called "I'm a flirt" and when I listened to it, I actually became pretty pissed.  Maybe I'm just a hater, but it INSTANTLY reminded me of why I hate clubs or any establishment where the young hip hop culture is in effect.  Let me point out a few lines from the song and comment on this for you young bruthas who feel as if they must follow in Kelly's steps and give you some practical advice.

"So homie dont bring your girl to me to meet cause Ima flirt"
"And if she got a man, I dont care"
"Please believe it unless your game is tight and you trust herrrrr"

Basically, the song is saying that he's going to mack on your girl in the club regardless of whether she's in a relationship or not.  Well, let me tell you young cats about reality.  Now, I admit, I'm one of those VERY jealous lovers that will blow up in a minute when I sense disrespect of my relationship coming from another brother.  I'm always trusting of the women that I've been in a relationship with, (with the exception of one), so if you try to holla at my girl, I'm cool with the fact that you thought she was beautiful and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you just didn't know she was in a relationship.  Now if she hollas back, then she isn't the one for me (I'll still intervene though).  But chances are, she's going to let you know that she's in a relationship.  

Triflin niggas, pay attention to this part….

This means back the hell up!  It doesn't mean to continue trying to press your game, to put your hands on her, or to come with some crazy ass talk about how you don't care if she has a man or not.  Because her man DOES care, and at this point, your showing big time disrespect.   And he just might be a few feet away observing the situation. So now, at this point, you have stepped into the asswhipping zone.  Without even looking at statistics, I can tell you right off the bat, that most fights up in the club start because some wannabe player kept pushing up on another brutha's girl despite being told to back off.  Yea, I admit, I have a pretty sensitive hot button when it comes to niggas showing disrespect to a girlfriend or lady friend of mine, but at the same time, some of you niggas need to learn how to be god damn gentlemen and this crap won't happen.

This is the primary reason why I hate clubs.